What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
