I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize