So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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