Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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