I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
