Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just puked most of my soul out..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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