Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
