Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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