I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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