just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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