You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
