You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I want to make a zoo with you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
