Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Screwed.edu
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
