So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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