I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
