Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
