did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
jump out the window naked night went bad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
