Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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