I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
