also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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