Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
