Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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