Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
