Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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