There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
