If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
MIDGETS
????
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
