Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
