so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
