Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
