I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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