so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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