I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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