normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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