The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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