I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
