You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
