im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
