No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
