we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
