butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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