Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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