girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
