just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
