Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
