If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why do cheetos always look like penises
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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