He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
