Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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