I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
