Its about making memories worth repressing
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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