put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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