What tipped you off? The sombrero?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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