I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
