We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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